In final declaration, I’m leaving
but who finally declares a leaving
or leaves a final declaration
I’d rather leave a question
or better yet an inflection
a slight raising of the voice
a crescendo of noise
a last-word invoice
to a bill quite unpaid
which the collectors pre-made
for me
and after necessary check be writ
I’ll make my split
gone from the on-and-on
the great knowledge that made me yawn
knowledge you kept in a safe
dumbed down and made not to chafe
to be absorbed under a pretext of importance
significant, I think not
my hours spent in brain-rot
bowed down at your alter of wisdom
thought divorced from skill-will
poured down from atop of a hill
“and such and such” by your quill
as hazardous as a landfill
to my mind-time
---------------------------------------------------------------
Author / Eric Cornell
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Everything before the last three stanzas is good.
ReplyDeleteThe rest of the poem doesn't seem up to par with the start. I have a few questions what is the knowledge that was kept in a safe? Why is it in a safe?
I didn't dig the choice of "Dumbed down"
Also, in the last stanza I would go with a different rhyme the "ill" seems forced, but I really dig everything up to the knowledge kept you safe stanza. Just somethings to think about alot of potential. Also, i think it might be cool to end it in a question.